| Player | Game Time | Message |
|---|---|---|
| CasualPlayer | 00:05 | gl hf |
| Aperture | 00:11 | SILLY OPPONENT |
| Aperture | 00:13 | NOW HE FLAT AS |
| Aperture | 00:14 | PANCAKE |
| CasualPlayer | 23:23 | the fact you still have units |
| CasualPlayer | 23:25 | is foul |
| Aperture | 26:43 | SLAMMER HAMMER |
| Aperture | 26:45 | FLIMSY |
| Aperture | 26:47 | TOO FLIMSY |
| Aperture | 26:48 | TO WIN |
